Ashley Lariviere
123 Ash Ave
123 456
123 Ash Ave
123 456
February 2, 2012
HMS Princess Margaret,
O
Captain, My Captain ,
As the top student at Princess Margaret in grade eleven. Okay, who are we kidding?! As your average, lazy grade eleven student, I understand that you’re going to have to make a very difficult decision. No worries, your highness I’m here to take all your worries away. I know that everyone else has told you how worthy they are, but they’re all liars. No one is worthy enough for someone as superior as you. But please, let me tell you that as lovely as you are, your a-- .. butt is going to be thrown into jail when you come out of this. Now, let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Ashley Lariviere, but you already knew that. I bet you didn’t know that I’m going to be Canada’s top lawyer. Oh, and here’s another plus for you, I’m going to major in criminology! Not good enough for you? I’ll work for free for you, just because the kind lady you are, let me live. Is this still not convincing you? Okay, well let me break it down for you. 25 to life for murder of the first degree, plus an additional 2 years for every dead body. Not good at math? That’s 54 extra. Altogether that’s 79 years. And I mean, we aren’t getting any younger.. Life’s looking pretty good for you though eh? That was sarcasm in case you didn’t catch on. With me, Ashley Lariviere representing you, I can guarantee you that all of your problems will be taken care of. You’ll live a care free life, with no criminal record, or jail time. I hope I’ve made your life-ruining-jail-till-I-die choice easier for you.
As the top student at Princess Margaret in grade eleven. Okay, who are we kidding?! As your average, lazy grade eleven student, I understand that you’re going to have to make a very difficult decision. No worries, your highness I’m here to take all your worries away. I know that everyone else has told you how worthy they are, but they’re all liars. No one is worthy enough for someone as superior as you. But please, let me tell you that as lovely as you are, your a-- .. butt is going to be thrown into jail when you come out of this. Now, let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Ashley Lariviere, but you already knew that. I bet you didn’t know that I’m going to be Canada’s top lawyer. Oh, and here’s another plus for you, I’m going to major in criminology! Not good enough for you? I’ll work for free for you, just because the kind lady you are, let me live. Is this still not convincing you? Okay, well let me break it down for you. 25 to life for murder of the first degree, plus an additional 2 years for every dead body. Not good at math? That’s 54 extra. Altogether that’s 79 years. And I mean, we aren’t getting any younger.. Life’s looking pretty good for you though eh? That was sarcasm in case you didn’t catch on. With me, Ashley Lariviere representing you, I can guarantee you that all of your problems will be taken care of. You’ll live a care free life, with no criminal record, or jail time. I hope I’ve made your life-ruining-jail-till-I-die choice easier for you.
Yours
Dearly,
Ashley
Lariviere
No comments:
Post a Comment